The Power of “I’m Sorry”

May 12, 2013 Community 2 Comments
Posted by Allison

We human beings have a lot of pride.

No one likes to be wrong, especially on the Internet. Yet, the Internet culture is one of ridiculing people, complaining, and ranting. People are unnecessarily snarky and downright mean. Even when negative statements are justified, tact and manners seem to fly out the window when commenting online.

Today, I’d like to propose that we all take time to say “I’m sorry” a little more often, especially to people in our community.

Not “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which really means, “I’m right, but I want to say something that is mildly snarky while still sounding like I take the high road even though I’m fooling nobody.”

Not “I’m sorry you had issues,” which really means, “You’re at fault for this problem. No one else is having issues.”

Not “I’m sorry that I can’t help you,” which really means, “I don’t feel like taking the time or making an effort to help you, even though I feel bad you have a problem.”

Not “I’m sorry, but…” because as my friend Deb Ng has said, “Usually, things that come after a ‘but’ mean that the first half of the statement isn’t true.

I’m not even proposing that you start to take on people’s problems. Not every “I’m sorry” has to come with a solution attached. Sometimes, “I’m sorry” is just that – a notice to the other person that you want to apologize for the issue at hand, and that you’d like their forgiveness. You’ve made a mistake.

Because we’re proud, it can be hard to admit a mistake. I struggle with it every day. I am my father’s daughter; I am a stubborn person. Bull-headed, my mother is fond of saying.

“I’m sorry” can make your community stronger, though. When you acknowledge another person’s feelings of anger or sadness, you give them a gift that we don’t see often enough online. And that’s the real high road. If you can make someone feel better instead of worrying about saving your own face and hiding your mistakes, that’s when you’ve become a real community manager.

The Sound of Your Feet Upon the Ground

Apr 7, 2013 General Blogging 1 Comment
Posted by Allison

May your past be the sound Of your feet upon the ground Carry on – Fun, “Carry On” Despite starting this post with some lyric from a Fun song, I actually want to begin by talking about an awesome Amanda Palmer song called “In My Mind.” In the song, she laments that she thought she [...]

Blog (and Life) Lessons from a Songbird

Mar 12, 2013 General Blogging Leave a comment
Posted by Allison

Most birds have a variety of songs they sing. Some, like a mockingbird, will mimic the birds around them, and even copy human whistles. Others stick to singing the songs of their own species, learning several varieties. The Brown Thrasher, for example, will learn hundreds or even thousands of songs over the course of its [...]

The Hard Truth No One Wants to Face About Freedom of Speech

Mar 8, 2013 General Blogging 1 Comment
Posted by Allison

It really bugs me when people say jerk things while hiding behind “freedom of speech.” Because there’s something about freedom of speech that we’re all ignoring. It’s there in the corner of our eye, but we choose to look away. We will ourselves to forget, and we live our lives content with the fact that [...]

The “Just Okay” Rule Sucks

Feb 15, 2013 Blog Content 1 Comment
Posted by Allison

There’s this oft-touted blogging rule that your content doesn’t have to be great. It just has to be okay. It has to be passable. It has to be good enough to teach the reader something. It has to be clean. But it doesn’t have to be fantastic. Because if you spend your time worrying about [...]

The Tale of the Stubborn Caterpillar

Jan 28, 2013 General Blogging 2 Comments
Posted by Allison

There once was a very stubborn caterpillar. All around him, the other caterpillars couldn’t stop talking about how excited they were to change into butterflies. The big change was going to be a scarey one, and a lot of work, but it would be worth it, they pontificated. Pushing themselves in this way would make [...]

Better Doesn’t Always Mean Faster

Dec 2, 2012 General Blogging Leave a comment
Posted by Allison

We have this obsession with doing everything faster. How can I write blog posts faster? How can I use social media faster? How can I build my blog faster? Of course, this need to be faster seeps into daily life too. We want to cook faster, clean the house faster, and get to wherever we’re [...]

In Pursuit of Perfection

Oct 28, 2012 General Blogging 1 Comment
Posted by Allison

In pursuit of perfection, we make compromises. We say we’re only going to work during regular business hours, but we stay up late to get one last blog post written before falling asleep at our desks. Again. We say we’re going to spend more time with friends and family, but we’re never fully “there” because [...]

Who’s Afraid of the Big, Bad Blogger Wolf?

Sep 27, 2012 Monetization 1 Comment
Posted by Allison

I have a confession to make: when I was a child, the story of Little Red Riding Hood terrified me. It’s not really that I’m afraid of wolves. There’s just something ultra creepy to me about someone pretending to be something they’re not. The wolf in the story pretends to be the girl’s grandmother, and [...]

Don’t Be a Scumbag (And Other Advice I Can’t Believe I Have To Tell You)

Aug 15, 2012 General Blogging 7 Comments
Posted by Allison

Don’t be a scumbag. Don’t steal content from my blog and pass it off as your own. Don’t steal ideas from my blog without tell people I was the inspiration. Don’t make up lies about me or spread rumors before you verify the facts. If you do these things, you’re a scumbag. Don’t be a [...]